By: Goat Lord
Once there was a Goat Lord. Beneath Goat Lord, there was a Blueberry Pie. Goat Lord looked down on Blueberry Pie.
“Blueberry Pie” Goat Lord inquires, “why do you stay so low?”
Blueberry Pie says, “because I got no legs Goat Lord.”
“How do you get around?” Goat Lord asks.
“I am patient.”
“Don’t’ you want to go places and see things before you rot?”
Blueberry Pie pauses and thinks for a minute.
“I guess I could see more but I cannot do it alone.”
Goat Lord grabs Blueberry Pie with his hooves and lifts him up, hind legs wobbling.
“Be Careful!” Blueberry Pie yells, “I have a severe condition called Dumptyosis. Any drop from more than a foot and I’m mush on the ground.”
Goat Lord carefully places Blueberry Pie to rest upon his horns atop his head.
Goat Lord says, “Now you can see as I see.”
The Duo creep along the mountain path passing an old decrepit tree along the way. The tree’s limbs wave in the wind. They stop to talk.
“How do you do today old tree?” Goat Lord asks.
They stand, waiting for a response. However, the tree only continues to wave at Goat Lord and Blueberry Pie.
“Perhaps he has gone deaf in his old age.” Blueberry Pie says.
Goat Lord shrugs his shoulders and they continue down the mountain path. After a few hours, Blueberry Pie pipes up
“I need shade Goat Lord, I can feel my inside puree boiling.”
Goat Lord finds a shady spot just off the trail by a creek.
“Goat Lord what is that?”
“That is a creek Blueberry Pie.”
“What’s it made of?”
Awestruck Goat Lord retorts
“Water! Have you never seen water before?”
“I have vague memories of this substance from when I was only batch mix.”
“Water is a basis for all goats, we must drink it in order to survive.”
Just then the two heard rustling in some nearby bushes. Out popped two bearded humans. One seized Blueberry Pie while the other wrestled down Goat Lord, tying a rope around his neck.
“What is happening Goat Lord?!” Blueberry Pie yells out.
Goat Lord was busy trying to wrestle the human off of him. After a few minutes of futile attempts to free himself, Goat Lord gave up. The Humans lead them back to their encampment nearby. The humans grunt loudly at each other and tie Goat Lord up to a stake near their fire pit in the middle of the camp. They place Blueberry Pie in a pan over the pit.
“Goat Lord, I’m Scared,” Blueberry Pie says, voice quivering.
“It’ll be ok Blueberry Pie. I’m here. We’ve been through so much already, we can get through this.”
The humans come back as night began to fall. They sit down around Blueberry pie and light a small fire in the pit underneath him.
“You Monsters!” Goat Lord yells out.
Blueberry Pie begins screaming as the pan he sits in heats up. His insides begin to bubble within.
“Leave him alone!” Goat Lord yells while bucking attempting to free himself.
The humans grunt. One rises and drags himself over to Goat Lord. He wallops Goat Lord over the head knocking him to the ground. He can hear Blueberry Pie’s screams as his insides boil up bubbling through his outer crust. The screams are silenced as the humans quarter Blueberry Pie and ingest his mangled body. Goat Lord did not once question the humans after that, fearing the same fate. Bound to the slavery of fear.